3 months down, 1 to go.

I find it quite surprising how just a single thought can linger in the back of one's mind for 3 months. This thought's birth was the day of my departure from the Philippine islands. These 3 months have been the longest 3 months of my life. The weeks are passing quicker than they were before, but its still not quick enough.

I have 1 month left to spend here and it has already been 3 months too long. All my feelings can be summed up in 5 words, "I WANT TO GO HOME!". Its as simple as that. I'm not meant to be here. I may have said this before, but it has been going off in my head for 3 months. if you dont want to read it anymore, then this is the place to stop.

First off, im doing poorly in school. Its not because i choose to, its because its not working out for me here. Not a single damn bit. Isn't university supposed to be the place where people should be there best? shouldn't a school fit the student just as much as the student fits the school? not here. not in brock. not for me. The way the universities work here doesn't work for me. I know i'd do so much better in a system that is familiar to me. I may be applying back to a school back home, but the grades i have to show for here, it seems it'll be too late for any form of salvation for me.

second, i am pretty sure i am a social outcast here. I dont want to be here, so i put in a lot of effort to keep in contact with the people at home. People here are okay.. but i can't be myself around some people here. that doesn't help me grow. that restricts me. and i am not willing to change the way i am just to fit in with the people here. if they are willing to change themselves to fit in, then let them lie to themselves. It seems that there are quite a few people who do so anyways. I refuse to compromise myself for friendship.

Third, i just hate it here. Its not home. Its not worth it. its as simple as that.