simply titled.. FML!!

i had 3 interesting conversations today.. One with Miguel Sioco who is a really good friend of mine who moved to the USA after high school. Another with Cezanne Villafuerte a good old friend of mine. And another with Michael Smith, a friend who moved here for university as well.
i've been talking to miguel a lot lately and we've been sharing our thoughts and feelings of leaving home and to cut things short, we hate it more than anything. When i talked to Cez, i just remembered home so much.. i was going through all my memories and faces of all my friends back at home. With mike, we talked about moving to another school. i told him that, and i quote myself, "i dont care where i graduate anymore, as long as i do".
right now.. i know care about a lot of things anymore.. I mean, im here pretty much against my will. Going to class is just something i do so i wont feel like an ass when i take the exam. I dont do it because its my future, or because i want to learn. I just pretty much dont give a rat's ass about this anymore. class is what i now like to think of as a formality.
i'm hating every single damn moment i spend here! im seriously rotting in front of my computer. After class, back to the room. on the weekends, i stay in the room. I dont want to go out and mingle. i dont want to go out and party and get myself drunk. I stay in front of this computer of mine to keep in touch with the people at home. even if its 3am there, i wait. nothing here motivates me to do anything. YES, i am being antisocial! i like being antisocial here! its worth more than anything else i do here. i just really couldn't care less about this hell hole. the only place i wanna get to is OUT! crying is now a norm for me. my tears are of depression as well as anger. i haven't been unhappier than i am now. the worst thing is, i can't do anything about it. i am pretty much stuck in this rut of trash for a long time. all i can say is.. oh well.. f*ck it.
need i say more?